Out Against Abuse-New Blogsite Against Domestic Violence

From Kathryn B. Ward, USA and cross-posted from Bideshi Blue

As readers of this blog and Bideshi Blue know, I have been very interested in issues of violence against women, in particular, domestic violence in Bangladesh and where ever Bangladeshi women migrate as students, wives, and family members as well as in the USA. I have encouraged readers to learn more and reach out to one another and give support to organizations within their own communities. I'm very excited by a new website, Out Against Abuse, started in January 2008 to educate and organize the South Asian community in USA against gender abuse-domestic violence through information, interviews with activists, and comments-participation by readers. Please go to this blogsite, bookmark it, and read through the posts to date. The most recent post is a very informative interview with Dr. Nusrat Ameen, law professor, activist, and author of Wife Abuse in Bangladesh: An Unrecognized Offence, UPL, 2005.

The co-founders, Sabrin Chowdhury, executive director and Raj Gupta, technology director, provide their mission statement. They looking for more interviews with activists, commentary on gender abuse, information about events and resources. You can contact Out Against Abuse: info@outagainstabuse.org. Please contact them!

In the following from this blogsite, Sabrin Chowdhury writes about the purpose of Out Against Abuse:

Educating Our Community: Taking the First Step Against Gender Abuse

“Two out of five South Asian women have experienced partner violence, a rate disproportionately higher than that of other minority groups,” – www.dayahouston.org.

Domestic violence is defined as “a pattern of abusive behavior which keeps one partner in a position of power over the other partner through the use of fear, intimidation, and control*,” and is an ongoing problem that continues to plague women from all around the world. South Asian women tend to suffer from problems of gender abuse at a much more severe rate than other races; however, the topic of domestic violence is one that is rarely discussed in the South Asian community.

The problem stems from the fact that many of us do not realize how vast the effects of abuse can be and how instances of domestic violence have a grave impact on many other problems in our community. Unfortunately domestic violence is not an issue of the past and is not limited to just rural and economically disadvantaged women in South Asian countries. More and more we hear about incidents of violence committed against highly educated and independent women. In many instances these women feel forced to stay in abusive relationships due to the societal stigma that comes from failed marriages or relationships and the lack of awareness of how to deal with domestic violence in general. Many people also wrongly believe abuse to only refer to physical violence. However, domestic abuse includes physical, sexual, economic and emotional abuse, creating an atmosphere of fear and despair for the victim.

I believe that the first step in putting an end to gender abuse is educating ourselves and our community. Out Against Abuse is a blog based website devoted to discussing the issues surrounding domestic violence and gender based abuse in the South Asian community. The blog will be updated with articles discussing key women’s issues and also with interviews conducted with various activists working to combat domestic abuse. This forum was created to increase awareness and discussion in the South Asian community about gender based abuse. The more we become conscious and educated about the issue, the harder we can work at ending violence against women. But for that we need your thoughts, comments, and collaboration to spread the word in our community.

With that, I leave you with the question: What actions can we exactly take to educate our community and put a stop to violence against women? Whether the impact is great or small, how can we all do our part to end violence?

* http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/ResearchAndPolicy/factsheet.htm

First day of Spring

By Taslima Akter

13 February was the first day of spring. Spring is the most attractive season when nature wears new ornaments. As usual young people at Dhaka University campus had celebrated the first day of spring. Young women, dressed in red-bordered yellow saris, flowers in hairs to welcome the first day of spring. See more in the video......

I wait for you in every Falgun

Written and pictures by Sherin Sultana

The Falgun [Bengali Month] came again. The Spring Season starts from this month for two months. Everywhere it looks like a fair of colors of nature. In this time I feel that the nature plays and decorates her with many colors.

Many years ago, I met with you for the last time in the morning of 1st Falgun. After that many Falgun have passed. I used to remain so anxious to see you, to meet you and to talk with you just for a moment. But I never explained my feelings for my nervousness. That’s why I had to leave all of my dreams and feelings.

My all the dreams were died for many times. At that time I remained very upset. But now my condition has improved. A long gap was made between you and me by staying far from one another.

But still now I am waiting for you. I feel that you must come again in my life with the message of the colorful spring in any Falgun.

Young women dressed in yellow saris to welcome the first day of spring

So I wait for you in the every first morning of the Falgun by wearing Basanti (Deep Yellow) colored sharee. If you come again in my life I would find my heaven in you and discover my all the happiness.

Welcome the spring, the queen of seasons

Written and pictures by Taslima Akter

If there is flower or not, today is Basanta (spring)
If there is birds are singing or not today is Basanta

Yellow Marigolds

Spring is one of the pleasant seasons. Spring is symbol of the transition from winter into summer. Spring is the queen of all the seasons. In this season most flowers bloom. When warm air begins to flow from south with smell of flowers, birds start singing and then we appreciate that spring is coming.

Flowers of spring

In spring it is seen as a time of growth, renewal, of new life for people, plants. This season bringing color and festivities in the minds of people, lighting up the hearts of all age and life and living. Spring is the most attractive season when nature wears new ornaments/dress with trees having fresh leaves and people heaving a sigh of relief with the departure of winter.

My Best Friend

By Sifat Binte Quiyum

People cannot live alone. From the ancient time, they started to live in groups. For better socialization, better life we are to live in groups. Friends are very common & important part in these groups.

Friendship is the most important part of our life. At present, we cannot live without friends. When babies are born, then they live in families. When they are grown up then they are used to going to playgrounds, schools and make friends. They make their own friend’s group.
I think faith is the main pillar of friendship. To me friend is a person with whom we can share everything of our life. Friends can show us the right ways, can alert us if we do any wrong thing. We can pass a nice time with them; share our feelings, our problems.

I have many friends. Now I am writing about one of my best friends.

One evening I was very upset. At that time, I got a missed call on my cell phone. After sometimes, I called him back. He received the phone and said ‘sorry’ for giving me the missed call. After hearing his voice, I was confused because his voice was same as one of my school friend’s voice. When I talked to him, my mind became fresh; I do not know the reason. From that time our friendship had started.

Eight months ago, I saw him for the first time. Sometimes I used to like him so much because he is my best friend and sometimes I did not like him because I cannot remember even a single day that he talked to me without fighting.

He used to get angry in every single point. If I say to go to right side, he goes to the left side and influences me to go to left. I like ‘Fuchka’ very much but he says ‘Yeak’. I like ice-cream but he says it is cold and bad for health.

He walks so faster than I do. That is why I cannot catch him. He does not care that I am walking with him or not. Maybe I am very much caring for him. Therefore, we are so good friends. I like him because when I face any problem he tries to help me anyhow. Though we do not live in the same city, but when I need any kinds of advice and any help then I call him at first. He always alerts me not to do any fault.

Anyway, lastly he is a good person and a good friend of mine. Always he frankly helps me. Before I say him anything, he can understand my problems. He is my best friend forever. I wish he will be fine always and he will never forget me. I hope our friendship will stay forever.......

Need your vote for electing Cox’z Bazar and Sundar ban as Natural New Seven Wonders in the world

By M. G. Rabbany Sujan

We have heard the name of Seven Wonders of the World. These were made by men and these were not changed long days. After electing new seven wonders in last July 2007 new seven wonders foundation started to elect new natural seven wonders in the world.

To elect natural seven wonders our Cox’s Bazar sea beach (Bangladesh) and Sundar ban (Bangladesh & India) has created wonder to us at the starting time. 158 places in the world selected in the primary selection. In the evening of last 27th December 2007 Cox’s Bazar, the longest and dense sea beach in the world took first place and Sundar ban, the biggest mangrove forest in the world (Bangladesh &India) took second place.

Cox’s Bazar sea beach

Sundar ban

In the primary selection there are 158 places selected in the world. In this chart there are 51 places of America, 31 places of Europe, 27 places of North America, 30 places of Asia, 19 places of Africa and 10 places of Oceania.

At present voting through internet is going on and it will be continued up to 31st December 2008. Up to last 4th December 2008, Cox’s Bazar and Sundar ban were able take place first and second place. To capture of present status we everyone need participation in this election up to last time. We have to cast our vote for Cox’s Bazar and Sundar ban.

What you need for voting and what you have to do:

First you have to have an E-mail address. You have to go www.new7wonders.com/nature/ in this address. There you can see a map of the world in green color. There are several areas and you have to select Asia. Then you will found 30 places. Then you have to click on Cox’z Bazar and you will see the picture of Cox’s Bazar where below you can see its present status. Same to same you can select Sundar ban too. At the bottom you can see “Vote now for” and you can click for voting for this place.

Chorus song of some Bloggers

Some of English/Bangla bloggers are singing a song “We shall over come some day” in 2nd Blog workshop of Nari Jibon.

Last year I visited in The Ekushey Boi Mela

By Laily Jahan Meghla

In Bangladesh we celebrate many fairs. Such as: fair on Pohela Boishakh, Poush Mela, Trade fair, Ekushey Boi Mela etc. We celebrate these once in every year.

21st February is our Shahid Dibosh. We celebrate Ekushey Boi Mela in the whole month of February in every year. This fair is held in Bangla Academy. It starts on 1st February for one month in every year to remind us the struggle and sacrifice for the language of Bangla. Every year the fair is organized by Bangla Academy.

A book fair is an attractive fair, where different types of books are displayed and sold. Many new books of many writers are published in every year in this fair. Now a day it has become very popular.

Every year I try to visit this book fair. Last year I visited in this fair with some of my friends. When I entered through the main gate of the fair I found a different environment.

The fair was very crowded. Men, children and women of all ages and classes gathered there. We had to stand for a large line to get entry in the fair.

I found many small and big stalls and many sorts of books and CDs on dramas, children’s books, reference books, poetry books, novels etc in the fair. The stalls were occupied by different publishers.

We visited all the stalls. I bought some of my favorite writers’ books. In the evening poets, novelists, writers came to visit in the fair. Seminars and cultural programs were also held in the fair.

Book fair is very important because it upgrades our thoughts and expands our knowledge. I was very delighted visiting such a fair like this and gathered some new experiences.

My Nephew: Farhan Sidique

By Farjana Hoque

My name is Farjana Hoque. I am doing Honors under National University at Tejgaon College in Sociology. I am 23 years old.

I have a nephew, he is like my child. His name is Farhan Sidique. He is three and half years old. Recently he started to go to school. He reads in play group at Lake View International School.

Every body has a memorable day. In my life the most memorable day is that day, when Farhan was born. I can not explain that how much I was happy when he came in this world. On 4th January, 2004 he was born at 8.15 am. Every one was very happy to see him. He was so cute, still now he is very cute.

My Nephew

The next day I slept with my nephew in the hospital. He was so small. That time I felt that, I was living in the heaven. Then I could not felt any sorrow or any tension. Even now I do not know why I was feeling like that.

I always remember the first day when he started to speak. He used to make us understand his feelings by his unclear words and accent. It sounded very nice. Now he calls me “Tina Ma”. I feel very happy when he calls me by this name.

He is very intelligent boy. He can play video game on computer. Whole day he remains very busy in various works. Everyone of his family have to remain busy with him. He is the dearest little member of our family.

Me with my nephew

He likes to go out very much. So some times we go out. Some time we play computer games, watch TV, read books and draw pictures and do many other things. He likes to watch cartoon. None can change the TV channel when he watches cartoon. Sometime he tells us various kinds of stories.

He does not live with me. He lives with his family at Rampura. So I can not spend much time with him. But when I get time I go to their home and pass some nice time with him. Every day I talk to him on phone for a long time.

I always miss him and he also misses me. I would like to say that Farhan is my world. He is the cutest child in the world to me.

Bloggers profile (Students)

Anukona Baroy

"My Name is Anukona Baroy. My birth place is Kalapara in Patuakhaly district. My date of birth is 27th September 1984. I passed my childhood in Patuakhaly.

My father’s name is Mr. Bipul Chonara Baroy and my mother’s name is late Anita Baroy. My father is a retire officer. We are three brothers and four sisters.

I completed Secondary School Certificate in 2000 and Higher Secondary Certificate in 2003. Now I am doing pathology training course and also taking courses in English and computer from Nari Jibon.

My favorite hobby is traveling and shopping. I like to read books of Shomoresh Mozumdar.

After finishing my study I will be a good medical pathologist. I know about Nari Jibon from one of my friends. Now I am a student of English and Computer Office Program in Nari Jibon Project.

The Nari Jibon is a nice organization for the girls and women. It works to develop their alternative skills. It helps women to buildup their skills. I am very much glad to be a part of this organization. I hope Nari Jibon project will increase day by day. I like Nari Jibon Project very much."

Sufia Khatun

"My name is Sufia Khatun. I was born on 20th November, in 1986. My birth place is Dhaka. My father is very old and he cannot do any thing. My mother is a house wife. I have two sisters and one brother. My brother is a garment employee. My family depends on his income.

I completed my Secondary School Certificate from Sharongodia Girls School, under Jessor board, in 2002 and Higher Secondary Certificate from Sripur Moliha College, under Jessor board in 2004.

My country is Bangladesh. It is a beautiful country. My favorite place is my native village ‘Sharongodia’.

My hobby is traveling. I want to do computer related job. It is my future plan. I am also a student of Nari Jibon Project. Here I am doing courses on spoken English and computer.

Nari Cyber Café is the most important part in this organization. That is only for girls and women. They can practice their learning lessons and browse here.

I knew about blog site after coming at Nari Jibon. It’s a new part of our life and it’s a very interesting. Through this blog site we can share our culture and peoples life to other countries. As a new writer I am trying my best to write something. I am very happy to be a part of Nari Jibon Project."

Mony is singing a Bengali song

By Taslima Akter

Shahida Islam Mony is a student of Nari Jibon Computer section. She is singing one of her favorite Bengali song at Nari Jibon.

Dowry System in Bangladesh

By Nurunnahar Islam Munni

Bangladesh is a development country. In this country there are many kinds of unpleasant customs. Dowry is the most common unpleasant custom of those. It creates many problems. It is against the success of our country.

Through this custom the bride has to give a large amount of money, furniture, ornaments and many things to the bridegroom. It is a very terrible situation for the society. Women & their family suffer a lot for this dowry system.

I think poverty, illiteracy, narrow mentality, negative attitude to the women, dependence on husband and living on their income, social corruption etc are the main cause of dowry. Some time bridegroom wants money to do business or want to make his life settle with that money. In the village if brides are not beautiful to look at or if they get late married then they are to give a lot of money as dowry to the bridegroom.

It is a much unexpected situation for the bride’s family members. They are to collect a huge amount of money for their daughters’ or sisters’ marriage. Sometime they are to take loan, sell their lands, furniture, ornaments and even their own house to collect the money. They are to lose many things and face many problems for this dowry system.

We saw that women are tortured when they can not give any money to their husband. Some time we hear and see in the newspaper that some women are killed, some are hung and some are burnt by their husband, in-law’s family members and others.

For this dowry system divorce, doing suicide, mental and physical tortures, number of broken family are increasing day by day. It is also affecting on the new generation. They can not give attention in their education; can not contribute in any development activities. It hampers their mental development.

This custom is very disgraceful for our country. So we should try hard to remove this system from our country. There are some laws to remove it. But we can not apply them properly. We have to try to use these laws properly. There should be more steps on women’s right in our Law system. We should change our outlook, mentality by our Law rules. Narrow mentality of the greedy people should be changed and a hard punishment should be given to them.

But good thing is that, at present our Government is aware about it. Therefore this system is changing. In the past it was so high in our country. Now we have a law that who will give dowry and take dowry--- all will be known as a criminal. So if we stop giving dowry then I think that this system will be end soon.

Bloggers profile (Students)

Salma Akter

"I am Salma Ater. I am 26 years old. I was born on 30th June 1980 in Dhaka. I have five members in my family. They are my father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, my husband and my only son.

I passed Secondary School Certificate in 1995 and Higher Secondary Certificate in 1998 and B. Sc Degree in 2000. My favorite place is Cox’s Bazaar. Listening song is my hobby.

I informed about Nari Jibon from one of my relatives. Now I am a student of Nari Jibon in computer and English.

I knew about blogsite for the first time after coming at Nari Jibon. It’s a new part of our life and it’s a very interesting subject too. Through this blog site we can share our culture and peoples life to other countries. As a new writer I am trying my best to write something.

The most important part in this organization is the Nari Cyber Café. That is only for girls and women. They can practice their learning lessons and browse here. I am really happy to be a part of Nari Jibon Project. "

Nurunnahar Islam Munni

"My name is Nurunnahar Islam Munni. I have five family members in my family. They are my brother, sister, my parents and I. My birth place is Dhaka. I was born at Malibagh Chowdhuripara.

I passed Secondary School Certificate in 2007. Now I am doing Higher Secondary Certificate. Beside this I am doing computer and English course at Nari Jibon.

My favorite place is my native village. My hobby is reading any kinds of books and traveling in any historical places. In future I want to do business.

Nari Jibon is a nice organization. Here women and girls can develop their alternative skills to make their lives established. The blogsite is a new and interesting topic for me. I try to share my thoughts, culture, and natural beauty with other people and countries through the blog writing.

Here we have a Nari Cyber Café. Only women and girls can use this Cyber Café. Students can practice their learning lessons in their free time and can browse Internet. I like it very much and browse here if I get free time."

Bloggers profile (Students)

Nina Sultana Mim

"My name is Nina Sultana Mim. My date of birth is 29th October, in 1989. I was born in Dhaka city the capital of Bangladesh. My father’s name is Md. Abul Kashem. He is a Government Service Holder. My mother’s name is Nasima Akter Shima. She is an ideal housewife.

I passed Secondary School Certificate in 2005 from Magbazar Girl’s high school and Higher Secondary Certificate in 2007 from Ispahani Girl’s High School and College. Now I am going to admit myself in BBA.

Laksmipure is my favorite place. It is my home district. It is a nice village. “Haymonty” written by “Ravindronath Tagore” is my favorite book. My favorite movie is ‘Padma Nadir Majhi’.

Listening music and reading story books are my favorite hobby. My future plan is to be a Charted Accountant.

I was informed about Nari Jibon from one of my friends. I came here with her. Now I am doing English spoken and computer course from here.

When I came here then I did not know about blog. It is a new and very interesting subject for me. Now I submit Bangla and English poems, stories etc for blog. As a new writer I am trying my best to write."

Rumi Akter

"I am Rumi Akter. I was born in Narayongong. I passed my childhood at Narayongong. My birth day is on 3rd November, 1990. My father's name is Rahman Ali. He is dead. My mother's name is Rahima Begume. She is a house wife. We are two sisters and one brother.

I am a candidate of Secondary School Certificate. My village is my favorite place. My hobby is watching any kind of movies.

After finishing my education, I would like to be a banker.

I was informed about Nari Jibon from my sister. I love Nari Jibon because I didn't know anything. Now I know how to use computer, internet, can speak in English, knew about Blog and many other things after coming in Nari Jibon.

At first I took admission in English-1 class in Nari Jibon. Now I am doing English-2 and computer course here.

I had no idea about the blog before coming here. When I had come here, then I knew about blog. It is very interesting topic. We can share our culture, lifestyle etc with other countries. I am trying to share my culture and people of my country with the other countries."

Bloggers profile (Students)

Asma Akter

"My name is Asma Akter. I was born on 7th July, in 1982. I was born in the district Modhupur. I passed my childhood in Modhupur. I have eight members in my family. They are my mother, father, four sisters and two brothers.

I passed the Secondary School Certificate from Khilgaon High School in 1998 and Higher Secondary Certificate from Khilgaon Girls’ College. I finished my B.A. from Shidheshwary Degree College. Now I am doing Masters in Abujor Giffary College.

I visited to many places in Bangladesh. Among them I liked Cox’s Bazaar the most. I like to read books in my free time. Shomoresh Mojumder is my favorite writer. Humayun Ahmed is also my favorite writer. In future I want to be a writer.

I am a student of Nari Jibon. It has many activities. Nari Cyber Café is one of them. There women and girls can practice computer and browse internet in their free time.

In my free time I used to write stories, poems etc. But I could not get opportunity to publish those anywhere. So after some time I stopped writing. But after coming at Nari Jibon, I knew about Nari Jibon’s blog site. I got a new hope to publish my stories, poems through this blog site. I am very happy for getting this opportunity."

Linda Pandey

"I am Linda Pandey. My family members are my father, mother and younger sister. My father’s name is Dulal Panday. He is a driver, my mother is a house wife and my sister is a candidate of Secondary School Certificate examination.

I finished my Secondary School Certificate and Higher Secondary Certificate from Barishal. Now I am trying to get admission in any University.

I like to read novel and story books in my free time. Shomoresh Mojumder and Humaun Ahmed is my favorite writer. My favorite color is pink.

After finishing my academic education I want to be independent in my life. I like banking as a profession. Therefore I will try to be a banker.

I did not know about Nari Jibon. After coming here I informed that it has Bengali Section, English section, tailoring section, computer section, photography section etc. Now beside my academic education I am doing Computer Office Program and English Spoken Course at Nari Jibon."